This recap is happening under the grim pallor of the Celtics’ Game 4 performance in the Eastern Conference Semi-Finals. That series, tied now at 2 games apiece, returns to Boston in approximately 60 minutes from the time of this writing. Here is hoping Jayson Tatum, 4th place finisher in the NBA MVP voting, finds it in his soul to attempt a layup as time expires, should the need arise. Here is further hoping that the need does not. Kick-outs to Marcus Smart are strictly forbidden.
There is much hullabaloo on the Boston Globe’s Celtics’ comment section that coach Joe Mazzulla deserves much or all of the blame for not calling a timeout after the Harden 3-point basket in OT. I do not disagree that he probably should have (shoot, he even admits he should have, in hindsight). However, to plagiarize commenter Poemasatree (trust me, he’s cool with it), I think much blame belongs to the team. Tatum needs to take those shots and get fouled, stop the clock, sink the free throws, and send us home. Even if he doesn’t get the foul call at the end of regulation (and I’d be willing to bet one thousand dollars he would have), we’re not worse off then we ended up anyhow, and a contested Jayson Tatum layup is always a better shot than a Marcus Smart three-point attempt. Marcus Smart is not Ray Allen.
To be fair to Smart, he did sink the 3 at the end of overtime, but MVP candidate Tatum should still be the one taking that shot, and he definitely should be aware that he didn’t have enough to time to dish out and have Smart get it off in time. The Celtics wasted 8-9 seconds just getting the ball up court.
Historical playoff choke artist James Harden is absolutely the reason that Philadelphia has won the two games they have, and I am not as confident as some that a collapse is forthcoming.
At this moment, I have a confession: There is a part of me, deep down, that hopes the Lakers beat the Warriors so that the Celtics get a chance to flush those turds themselves. Winner gets banner number 18.
Speaking of turds: Draymond Green is the worst.
MLB: What is going on with the Cardinals?
They are 13-24 as of this writing (nothing to be sad about, in my view, those devious birds), dead last place in the NL Central, a division that should have been, and traditionally has been, theirs for the winning.
The Redbirds started the season with Jordan Walker, a 20 year-old top rated prospect, switching from third base (where Nolan Arenado stands entrenched) to the outfield. He opened the season with a 12-game hit streak (March 30-April 12) and was hitting .319 on April 13th. By April 23rd, he was optioned to Triple A Louisville to allow the oft-injured tandem of Tyler O’Neill and Lars Nootbaar a platoon. It is true that Walker was “slumping” in comparison to his red hot start, but sending a guy down after 74 at-bats and a 12-game hit streak seems odd. Odder still, the reason the Cardinals gave for Walker’s demotion was a logjam of outfielders. It isn’t entirely out of the ordinary for the young kid with minor league options left to get the short end of the demotion stick when there is a positional logjam, but O’Neill is currently residing on the DL, and the Cardinals haven’t promoted Jordan Walker again.
What they’ve done instead is move catcher Willson Contreras and his 5-year, 87 million dollar contract to the… outfield. Contreras is not a young, inexperienced third baseman learning the outfield. He is a well-above-average hitting catcher who was anointed the replacement to the despicable but undeniably legendary Yadier Molina. He is currently being scapegoated by Cardinals manager Oli Marmol for the Cardinals odious performance, due to his inability to duplicate Yadier Molina’s work behind the plate. Marmol seems to have made a habit out of scapegoating his players, which I guess makes sense in a way, as they are the ones on the field losing games. First, it was Tyler O’Neill, who Marmol benched for insufficient hustle. Then, it was poor Jordan Walker, sent down because the Cardinals needed to make room for an outfielder with negative WAR. Now, Willson Contreras is moving to that same crowded outfield, and the Cardinals now have a player who is even further from Molina behind the plate. It doesn’t make sense, and I find it hard to imagine Marmol being able to pass the buck much longer before he gets canned. Hopefully it happens around the time he’s managed to steer the Cardinals to about 92 losses.
As if the NL Central couldn’t be more upside down, the g-danged Pittsburgh Pirates currently reside at the top of the standings. The Bob Nutting-owned Pittsburgh Pirates. I hate Bob Nutting, but I have to point something out: will you look at what happens when a team, owned by a complete lowlife cheapskate, does the bare minimum and tries at least to retain their own homegrown players? The Pirates recently invested in long-term contracts for Bryan Reynolds (who ended 2022 demanding a trade; how quickly things change) and Ke’Bryan Hayes to $186 million worth of long-term contracts, are currently engaged in talks with Mitch Keller on an extension, and brought former MVP and Pirate royalty Andrew McCutcheon back into the fold. I’m not making the case that Bob Nutting isn’t a lowlife cheapskate, but look at how the baseball gods have smiled on even a modicum of effort to compete. Will it last? Unlikely, but I really hope it does, because to hell with the Cardinals.
Speaking of small-market teams doing things the right way, is there anything more glorious than watching Tampa Bay rally off 13 consecutive wins to start the season (currently standing at 29-9) while the mighty New York Yankees reside in the AL East cellar? After consecutive win number 10, I texted a few of my A’s fans buddies and asked them if they are rooting for Tampa Bay, or if they are angry, because it just goes to show how much BS Oakland A’s owner John Fisher’s song and dance actually is.
Then, there’s this guy:
He can say the chant didn’t bother him. I assure you it did. Nobody cares enough to go out of their way to prove they don’t care unless they care very deeply. I absolutely hope it did bother him, because he bothers me.
The Padres got a bit of comeuppance after beating the Dodgers 33% of the time and parading around like they won the World Series, even posting a picture of Clayton Kershaw crying on the Jumbotron while they chanted, “Beat LA”. First of all, this chant… it just isn’t the sick burn you think it is. It originated in the 1980’s with Boston Celtics fans, who chanted it during a Celtics/Pistons playoff game in 1988. The Garden faithful were making chicken salad out of our playoff loss to the loathsome Pistons by encouraging them to, at least, beat the Lakers in the Finals. It was originally meant as a sign of solidarity. Second, dude, no one chants “beat the Padres”. Finally, don’t copy the copiers and do what Giants fans do. I’m almost (almost) offended on SF’s behalf that these ringless jerks would even try to step to the Dodgers as rivals. Sorry, San Diego, there is only one rivalry in Los Angeles, and it is certainly not with the Padres. Dodgers fans call Petco Park “Dodger Stadium South”. Padres brass knows it, too, which is why the literally banned people from outside San Diego’s area code from buying tickets to the playoff series last year. We just wanna squeeze your chubby wittle cheeks and pat you on your heads. In other words, you just don’t send us, babies.
But, I digress a bit. The Dodgers ended up taking 2 out of three from the Padres, despite Tatis Jr.’s usual Dodger-killing antics (2 very long home runs in game 1). Another series approaches this weekend, from Dodger Stadium Dodger Stadium, in Los Angeles. The Dodgers currently sit atop the NL West at 23-15, Padres are 19-18, and I predict will be below .500 come Monday morning.
Professional Wrestling: Briefly, Nick Aldis has returned to Impact to challenge new World Champion Steve Maclin. I haven’t been this excited about anything on Impact in a very, very long time. I should know not to get to too excited, as the returns of EC3 and Eric Young were lackluster, for sure. Nick Aldis is a different breed though.
Now…
After Roman Reign’s successful titles defense against Cody Rhodes at WrestleMania (you can go read about it below, if you haven’t yet), the former has been drafted full time to Friday Night Smackdown and left Raw without an official World Champion. Technically, this has been the case for months, as Reigns was only appearing on Fridays, anyhow. The dearth of a world heavyweight champion on Raw created an opening for guys like Seth Rollins and Austin Theory to establish the United States Championship as the primary championship on Mondays, but it just wasn’t gonna happen. Rollins has stopped being interesting, and Austin Theory, while glorious, is not yet established enough to elevate a championship. Even if Theory was established to the point where he was elevating the belt instead of the belt elevating him, it is still the United States championship, and that will never be perceived as a title equal to, let alone greater than, a world championship. This predicament was rendering Monday Night Raw, Vince McMahon’s flagship program for 30 years, as the B show.
WWF decided to book Roman Reigns in two separate matches on a single night at the upcoming Night of Champions Pay-Per-View, emanating objectionably from Saudi Arabia. On this night, Roman Reigns is obligated to defend both straps, since he is the reigning champion on both shows. Intercontinental Champion Gunther and United States Champion Austin Theory will get shots for the titles on their respective brands, and a coin toss will determine who gets to go second. After a grueling match with either secondary champ, Reigns would truly have to be a Universal Champion to successfully defend his other title immediately proceeding the first match. If Roman loses the first match, a championship match between the winner of that match and the other opponent will be scheduled for the next PPV. If Reigns loses the second match, he will still look very strong, considering it took what was essentially a head start for his second opponent to beat him. He still retains one title, defends it on Smackdown, and Raw has a champion (whoever it is) that can claim they beat Roman Reigns and is therefore a legitimate champion. A tournament will then be held for the vacated secondary title and a new contender’s pool will form.
Oh wait, that is not what happened (save the part about a PPV in Saudi Arabia).
Instead, the World Wrestling Federation has decided to just… create a new World Heavyweight Championship belt. There is a tournament underway to determine who will fight for the newly minted title at Night of Champions in Saudi Arabia. No one will even have to fight Roman Reigns. This is the absolute manifestation of a consolation prize, and it’s also kinda hideous:
There is a scintilla of the old WCW World Heavyweight Championship we all love, but that logo in the middle is atrocious.
So, that’s lame on two levels already. Now, let’s discuss the bracket:
So we’ve got two guys who didn’t even have a match at WrestleMania, suddenly worthy of a spot in a tournament of contenders (Bobby Lashley and the Miz, because that garbage with Snoop Dogg does not count as a match)? We’ve got two more guys who haven’t wrestled in months (Styles and Nakamura), and one guy who lost a match to a pop star (Priest). Theory deserves a spot in the tournament, the reason rests on his left shoulder, but where is Gunther? Why is the first round triple-threat matches? Cody Rhodes had a great showing at WrestleMania, he certainly is worthy of seeding, but should he win, how does this complete his “story”? This is not the belt that his father couldn’t win. This isn’t the belt that he stabbed all his AEW confidantes in the back to pursue. Cody’s a smart guy, I’m sure he could make the argument that being the first to hold this brand new championship is the beginning of his own legacy, but is that really even true? Haven’t you been NWA World Heavyweight Championship, as your father before you? Wasn’t that the culmination of your legacy?
I appreciate WWF’s mission to have a major championship on both shows, but whoever wins this tournament will still be in Roman Reign’s shadow. But then again, aren’t we all?
A Fool Speaks Loudest 